Wreckers’ Street Talk
(This is for laughs, so please don’t get offended.)
As the years go by, wreckers are slowly developing their own dictionary, just like how 50cent added “get the strap” to the Urban Dictionary, www.urbandictionary.com. I think it’s time we pay homage to the language of the wreckers, which I like to call Wrecklingo.
Let’s be honest, with each phone call comes a different personality—some very easy to deal with, some the exact opposite. Below I have constructed a few one-liners that you would hear from either of these types now and then.
This collection of wreckers’ expressions will help you cut through their euphemisms and hopefully make it easier (and funnier) for you to deal with any wrecker from all walks of life! ENJOY LEARNING!
1. The car was hit in the fuse box! He actually means – parts only warranty.
2. The car didn’t have a key when it came in. What he really means is – I can’t remember, for the life of me, if it was tested or not.
3. I’m waiting for the freight company to get back to me. Now that should tell you – It’s not even out the car yet.
4. The driver has left, he won’t be far away. It’s a fair warning that - The driver is still in the lunchroom.
5. Someone must have marked it wrong. He’s not pointing fingers here. He simply means - I knew it was marked wrong. I just gave you anything to get you out of my store.
6. I don’t know if I have any left, let me check. Prepare to haggle, he actually says - I know I got one. I’m just trying to get the right price.
7. My boss would kill me if I sold it any cheaper! Now, you should know when he means what he says because this time, he really means – My boss would kill me if I sold it any cheaper.
8. I went and checked you boot Gromit, sorry I don’t have one. He says this like he’s really sorry, but what he doesn’t tell you is this – I haven’t left my chair.
9. How much did I quote you, I can’t be bothered going through the quotes. He wants to impart a no-nonsense air, but the truth he’s trying to keep from you is – I can’t remember how much I quoted you.
10. Sorry I can’t do it any cheaper. Poor guy, he really means – you’re the 459th person today to try and crunch me, and I’m over it.
11. I checked the paint code it was different. It actually reads – I didn’t check the paint code.
12. I accidentally sent your part to the wrong person. His thought process can be pretty amazing! He actually thinks that sending to the wrong person is better than forgetting to send altogether. It’s a roundabout way of saying – I forgot to send it.
13. The freight company is conducting a search for your item. It’s another way to explain away what caused the delay and really means – I forgot to send it.
14. I’m waiting for my freight broker to give me the tracking number. You see, a wrecker has a very rich language. This is another synonym for – I forgot to send it.
15. When you tell him “the place around the corner is selling it cheaper” and he tells you to “go buy it then”, he really means – go buy it then.
16. When you tell him that you can get it on eBay cheaper, and he says “well, go buy it then”, he means the same - go buy it then.
17. When you tell a wrecker, “Hey, it’s Roger, how you been” and says, “Good, and you?” It’s a safe reply that means - I have no idea who you are.
18. When you ask a wrecker for the price of an engine, ask him to send photos and haggle on the price, and tell him that you’re thinking of buying a car with a stuffed engine, he says, “Ok, well let me know if you decide to go ahead.” What he really means can't be written on this website.
19. When you ask for a price, and then follow it up with “Do you know anywhere that will sell it cheaper?” And he replies, “Yes, try this place (07) 9999 9299.” What he really means is - This is the number to my worst enemy.
20. When you call up to tell them something has failed, and he asks you, “When did you buy it?” What he’s actually mumbling at the back of his mind is - “Plz plz plz, let it be over 90 days old!”
Please check back for more!
It takes a wrecker to know a wrecker. I will add to this as time goes on, so please check back. Of course, by now you already know what a wrecker means when he says “check back”. It means, lucky if I find time to sit down and do more of this!
Seriously, I’d like to inject more of the funny side to wrecking, so catch us up next time during our idle moments. Better yet, feel free to write me if you have anything to add to our compilation of Wrecklingo, and email it to Hello@carpart.com.au.